Humor

"Listen carefully. I can only tell you this once, 'cause I promised not to repeat it."


Aight y'all, I'm working on writing out the lessons, thoughts, and growing that happened this past week at the Onething conference in Missouri. Until that gets finished, I've collected this humor for you to enjoy.


Two mothers were talking about their daughters. One said, "Yes, my daughter is very good. She just has one fault: she fibs constantly.

"So I sat her down and told her the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I finished by telling her how when the wolf actually came, nobody ran to his rescue because of all the times he had lied before. She sat there thoughtfully for a moment, then looked up at me and said,
"You know, I was eaten by a wolf once . . ."




While looking for a research book in the CCU library, I quite by accident stumbled across this completely different little gem of a book, entitled, "A Modern Look At Modesty." The book was not new looking, so I picked it up and looked at the copyright information.

I don't know how many of you have heard my opinion on modesty. Briefly, it's this: I REALLY appreciate it if you're modest, but you CANNOT be held responsible for my mind. It is my responsibility before God to guard my mind, heart, and eyes. It's not your job. Whatever you wear, people can lust. It's a choice, not an involuntary reaction. And that goes for both guys and girls, though from my personal perspective it would be more directed at girls. So, whatever you wear is between you and God. It's my job not to lust. And because of Christ is it possible.

That's why I found this book extremely humorous. The author did not share my opinion, but subscribed to the widely held view that it's a woman's job to keep a guy from lusting. That led to some fascinating conclusions. I jotted down the best of these for you to enjoy with me. The book's still there, copyrighted 1965.


"Incidentally, even the logic of a purely humorous approach to wearing shorts should be sufficient to discourage an honest woman from wearing them. If she's skinny, she looks like two fence posts in them; and common sense should keep her from wearing them. A heavy woman resembles the back end of a truck, and she has even more reason (forgive the pun) for not being seen in shorts. And if a woman really looks good in them, she for sure should not wear them."


"Backless shoes add to her general bedroom atmosphere."


On depravity in advertising:
"Or this advertisement of a swimsuit, "If she's got it, these suits show it."

"Another is a man who has just gotten out of a car that has been badly damaged. He has crashed into a concrete pole on the sidewalk. He is beside the damaged car and calling after someone: "You and your skin tight, flesh-colored Capri pants!"

Here's the kicker. And, he's got me for the first couple sentences. Then . . .

Men are attracted to femininity. That's the way God made them. They like girls who dress with oodles of ribbons and bows. The like fluffy, frilly dress with skirts that have lots of swishy petticoats. They like blowy hair and soft, white skin. There's nothing wrong with being every inch a girl.

ROTFLMHO